Real Perspective (September 2008)

The past weekend really put things into perspective for me. Many things I have been struggling with or questioning about are not such great battles for me anymore. Seeing Liliana in the hospital and watching her go through everything while looking up at me with those tears in her eyes was more than I ever thought I could bear. My job as a mommy was more validated this weekend than it has ever been. If I wouldn't have been at home, her episode would have been missed, and things could have potentially been a lot worse. My babies need me, my career can certainly wait its turn. Things you sometimes take for granted, like amazing family and friends, or great insurance, are now cherished and appreciated even more.

I have stepped back and evaluated my life a little differently now. The things I cling so dearly to, the passions and desires of my heart, are really just a tiny dot in the painting of my life. They don't measure up to how great our God is, how important your family is. My first thought after all of this happened was, "Ok, God, I get it, I'll stay away from coaching". I felt like I was being punished. But I wasn't! God doesn't cause sickness, He allows those things to happen and uses them for His good. He uses all bad for His good! I needed to refocus and see my life from God's perspective. I was so wrapped up in what I wanted to do, and kept forgetting that He has such great plans for me and my family, that I just need to be obedient and trust Him. It's easy to say you trust Him, but when the going gets tough, do you really? When your little girl gets poked more than 20 times and is screaming and sweating in obvious pain, do you trust Him? When you don't know if she's got cancer, or an infection, or epilepsy, do you trust Him? When money is tight and you have no idea how you are going to pay your bills, do you trust Him? I feel it is in these moments that our faith is renewed and strengthened. He is faithful, He does not leave us, ever! These moments help us remember that you cannot live this life alone and that it is only by His grace and mercy are you able to move forward in life. We are truly helpless without our mighty God.

Another random thought I had today - We cannot forget to feed our soul with its only nourishing food - the Word and prayer. Yes, you cannot treat those things like something you check off in order to call yourself a Christian. But it is through those avenues that you become closer to God. View it more as spiritual food, rather than a chore or duty. That's how I keep the enemy from enticing me to stop reading and praying. He almost had me, but I sucker punched him in the gut :)