No Fear - Christmas Thought

After many tests and doctor visits, I still don't know what is wrong with me. The dizziness comes and goes, but I am happy to report that I do not have any more chest pain or palpitations and more importantly, fear has been replaced with faith. I heard a pastor on the radio say that "fear is the absence of faith" and it put a lot of things into perspective for me. If we are afraid of what the enemy may be able to do to us we lose focus on what our God CAN do for us. I felt somewhat ashamed because initially I was so wrapped up in what was wrong with me and momentarily forgot who was in charge.
On a side note, I am so grateful this Christmas. Even though our tree is not going to be stuffed to the brim with gifts, I am thankful for what the birth of one baby boy means to our faith and salvation. I am blessed beyond measure to have my beautiful family that I can't imagine living without. The worldly view of Christmas measures joy by how many gifts you got, or what name brand was on the purse you received, or how much money was spent. It's hard to get sucked into that arrogant mindset. I have shamefully found myself a time or two this Christmas browsing by a name brand store and thinking how much better that particular object would make me feel. How shallow. Yet, the true meaning of Christmas is quite simple. A God who was merciful to send his Son on this earth so that we could be saved.
I am often puzzled as to why people refused to believe in a God or in Jesus Christ. I enjoy philosophical thinking, yet I know my earthly mind will never understand fully the miracles of Christianity. Are people really that self-centered in thinking that if they can't solve it, it must not be true? What have you truly got to lose in serving Jesus Christ?
I hope everyone has a blessed Christmas and remembers why we celebrate this season. Step outside of the worldly box for a moment and focus on what really matters. Remember the importance of relationships instead of name brands. As my daddy says, "your stuff can't save you - only Christ can."

The Great Physician

I've been dealing with some stumbling blocks that the enemy has put in my way lately. I've been having many dizzy spells, blackouts, and moments of chest pain. At first, I was terrified. Terrified of dying and leaving my family that I love so very much. Terrified of the pain I would feel. Terrified of not being 100% ready to leave this world. Terrified that the doctors would not find what is wrong with me and that they may miss it and I would suffer. I was reminded by a dear friend that there is no doctor on this planet that knows my body like my God, my Great Physician. In all my weariness, I forgot that. The enemy did a good job of keeping that masked so that I would freak out and not focus on Him. I thought I was focused, but I wasn't. Praying is only a portion of that focus you should have on Him. Believing with your entire body, mind, and spirit that He can and will heal you, and that He is in complete control, is a great deal of that focus.
Something wonderful happened to me on Thursday night. While I was praying with a friend, I felt that peace of God pass over me, I felt a connection with my God that I have never felt before. I felt it again in church this morning, so much that I became overwhelmed with emotion and sobbed. Many people may call this hokey-pokey emotional mumbo-jumbo....but I know that what I felt was real. It reassured me that He is real and He is there. He will never leave me, and He does have great plans for me. He is going to heal me, regardless of whether or not a doctor can tell me what is wrong. I have peace in knowing my Creator is in control. Whether it is a heart condition, whether it is something in my brain, or whether it is a simple as stress and anxiety, I will be released from this attack of the enemy. I have no doubt. THANK YOU JESUS FOR YOUR HEALING POWER!

Wrath on the Horizon

My heart is so distraught at what our country has just done. I have never been this emotionally involved with an election as this, and I fear what kind of "change" will be affecting our lives over the next four years.
I am grateful I have a God who is bigger than any President that will ever be in the White House.
Yet, I also know that I serve a Lord who will, sadly, bring wrath upon this country for allowing the filth that we have slowly turned a blind eye to. God rises up leaders and brings them down. This country will deserve every bit of turmoil it bears. I pray that He has mercy on His people who love Him and cling to Him.
This election has reassured me about homeschooling or Christian schooling rather than placing my children in the public school system that will open up doors that I would like to keep closed tightly. There is so much more garbage for our children to deal with these days than I ever could have imagined dealing with when I was in school. And that was only 10 years ago, I can't imagine how much worse it will be in 10 more.
Maybe, just maybe, this will stir up something in God's people. A strong passion and desire to spread the gospel and be a voice for those who don't have one. Maybe this is our last and final opportunity to be His hands and feet, and to show the world the Jesus that lives inside of us, instead of keeping Him conveniently tucked away for when we need Him. And I'm not pointing the finger at anyone but myself. Let us remember that we may be the only Jesus that someone ever sees, and it is apparent after this election that the majority of our country has never seen Him, or has seen a Christian fail at showing it.
Go be the light of Jesus! America is awfully dark!

Daniel 4:17 - "... That the Most High rules in the kingdom of men,
Gives it to whomever He will,
And sets over it the lowest of men."

Psalm 47:9 - "The nobles of the nations assemble as the people of the God of Abraham, for the kings of the earth belong to God; he is greatly exalted."

John 19:10 - "You would have no power over me if it had not been given to you from above."

Vote Your Conscience

Today will change the future of our children.

I am proud to say I am a Republican with strong morals and values and will be voting my conscience today. As I awoke this morning, I was reminded that we Christians must fight for those values because there IS an absolute truth. There IS only one way. "I am the way, the truth, and the life. NO man cometh unto the Father except through me." (John 14:6). We should be concerned about the nation that doesn't challenge other religions or beliefs. Murdering the unborn is not a choice, it is a sin. I'm pretty confident that God does not enjoy watching us kill the unborn, especially because of selfish reasons. (Psalms 127:3) We cannot stand by silent and be "ashamed" of the gospel, or be afraid to say something because it might not fall in line with what someone else believes, or because we want to avoid an argument. There is no political correctness in the gospel, only ABSOLUTE TRUTH. "For I am NOT ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God unto salvation to everyone that believeth." (Rom 1:16).
Wake up people! God is real! And if we, as a Nation, keep turning our back on Him, eventually He is going to let our Nation fall. And it will be ugly.
Vote your conscience today. If you read the same Bible I do (Christian, Catholic, Morman, etc.), then I hope and pray you live by the principles that Christ taught us. If you live by those principles, then the only honest choice for President is John McCain. God is going to take care of our economy, it is up to us to be a voice for the unborn and to protect our nation from any more filth.

Rising Above

Satan seems to be in full force this time of the year (Halloween).

It never fails, I fall victim to Satan's games and temptations more often than not. I am ashamed to say I had a lot of anger in my heart yesterday for people who don't even affect my life on a daily basis, yet are people I have even prayed for. Anger is an emotion that is very hard to pull away from and can even be addicting, in a sense. I wonder how many more times I will be faced with this temptation before I finally get it. I'm sure God will be clapping his hands when I finally am able to walk away from the garbage that Satan throws at me, instead of jumping on my high horse and telling the world where they can shove it. Satan is so clever, isn't he? He knows exactly what ruffles your feathers enough that you will lose focus on God and Jesus, and instead dabble in sin.
It is hard to live like Jesus. If it was easy, then everyone could do it without thinking twice. But we are commanded to live our lives as mirror images of our Savior. Thank goodness we are saved by grace, even if we are VERY imperfect. It doesn't by any means excuse our actions, but it is what separates us from the rest of the world. When we stumble (and we will), we have to regain our focus and look to our loving and gracious Father for forgiveness and the strength to rise above and resist these silly temptations.
I think I'm going to have a wristband made that says, "You may be the only Jesus someone sees today." I need all of the reminding I can get to stay focused :)

Silent Solidarity (October 21, 2008)

Today is the day of Silent Solidarity for pro-lifers who wish to "lose their voice for those who may never have one."
Of course, being a mama, I can't be silent, but I can try to be a voice for the unborn in this blog.
**If you are pro-choice, you are not going to like what I have to say. Please, if you disagree with me, keep your comments to yourself. I will not argue with you on the sanctity of life or whether or not murdering the unborn is ok. You will not receive a response from me. **

Psalms 127:3 says, "Behold, children are a gift from the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward."
If a child is a gift from the Lord (ALL children), then why do many call it a choice? It is sad that human creation has been watered down to a choice. Let us be reminded that more often than not, when a woman chooses to abort her child, it is for selfish reasons. The cases of rape and incest abortions are minuscule compared to the number of abortions at will.

Let us also be reminded that ALL children are precious in God's eyes. All children deserve a chance at life. We do not control our destiny or our life, God does. Therefore, we women should not have the right to choose to murder the baby that is thriving inside of us.

Someone had once argued with me that if abortions are not legal, then who is going to care for all of those unwanted babies? Or how are we going to stop those women from aborting the babies themselves and possibly killing themselves in the process?

First, our country needs to do something about the adoption process and making it more affordable. There are so many couples who cannot have children who would love to be a father and mother to the unwanted children. It seems so unfair that those who can't have babies must watch in horror as those who can chose to abort.

Second, do we legalize murder just because people are going to do it anyway? Do we legalize drugs, just because people are going to do it anyway? Absolutely not. And we shouldn't legalize abortion either.

Third, we Christians need to actively spread the gospel and give people hope in Christ. We cannot be angry and argue with those who are pro-choice. We must approach them in a loving manner and show them how great our God is. If we cling to God and seek Him first, then we are comforted in knowing that everything is in His control.

Real Perspective (September 2008)

The past weekend really put things into perspective for me. Many things I have been struggling with or questioning about are not such great battles for me anymore. Seeing Liliana in the hospital and watching her go through everything while looking up at me with those tears in her eyes was more than I ever thought I could bear. My job as a mommy was more validated this weekend than it has ever been. If I wouldn't have been at home, her episode would have been missed, and things could have potentially been a lot worse. My babies need me, my career can certainly wait its turn. Things you sometimes take for granted, like amazing family and friends, or great insurance, are now cherished and appreciated even more.

I have stepped back and evaluated my life a little differently now. The things I cling so dearly to, the passions and desires of my heart, are really just a tiny dot in the painting of my life. They don't measure up to how great our God is, how important your family is. My first thought after all of this happened was, "Ok, God, I get it, I'll stay away from coaching". I felt like I was being punished. But I wasn't! God doesn't cause sickness, He allows those things to happen and uses them for His good. He uses all bad for His good! I needed to refocus and see my life from God's perspective. I was so wrapped up in what I wanted to do, and kept forgetting that He has such great plans for me and my family, that I just need to be obedient and trust Him. It's easy to say you trust Him, but when the going gets tough, do you really? When your little girl gets poked more than 20 times and is screaming and sweating in obvious pain, do you trust Him? When you don't know if she's got cancer, or an infection, or epilepsy, do you trust Him? When money is tight and you have no idea how you are going to pay your bills, do you trust Him? I feel it is in these moments that our faith is renewed and strengthened. He is faithful, He does not leave us, ever! These moments help us remember that you cannot live this life alone and that it is only by His grace and mercy are you able to move forward in life. We are truly helpless without our mighty God.

Another random thought I had today - We cannot forget to feed our soul with its only nourishing food - the Word and prayer. Yes, you cannot treat those things like something you check off in order to call yourself a Christian. But it is through those avenues that you become closer to God. View it more as spiritual food, rather than a chore or duty. That's how I keep the enemy from enticing me to stop reading and praying. He almost had me, but I sucker punched him in the gut :)

Obedience (August 2008)

I am so God's problem child.

Not in the sense that I am overly rebellious...no, I tend to have a hard time being obedient and doing what I know God wants me to do. I, being the control freak that I am, want to do things my way. This is an uphill battle for me. Often, I feel like saying, "But I don't wannu!", even when I hear him LOUD AND CLEAR.

I have been struggling with whether or not I should go coach volleyball, at all, in any way. This includes just coaching part-time, or helping teams out. I love volleyball, I am so passionate about the sport. I find great joy in seeing girls improve their game and skills, knowing I had some part in doing that. There is just one problem with me coaching...it consumes me. I lose sleep at night and my thoughts are taken over by which drills to run, how to improve someone's serve or swing, or which offense the team should run. Everything else becomes trivial and is put second. There is an obvious problem with that. God and my family come first, and somehow they don't when I am consumed by things like coaching volleyball.

I know what the answer is- stay away from coaching volleyball right now, period. But I still try to find loopholes thinking maybe I will outsmart the Omniscient God of this world. Maybe I can just, this once, go help someone out with practice. I'll go and "just have fun." Yeah. Right. And when things go sour, and I leave the gym upset about something that went wrong, I really can't be angry at anyone. It is just God putting His foot down and saying, "LISTEN TO ME! BE OBEDIENT!" When you step outside of God's will, He will surely let you know. Things will NOT work out for you.

No. It is not the right time or season to do this. I should be proud of being a stay at home mommy for the short time that they need me., instead of trying to play multiple roles. Pretty soon, they won't need me to help them open things, put their clothes on, or sing them to sleep. They won't be as dependant on me as they are now. They need me more than they ever will now. And I must first do the job that God initially created me for - to be a Mommy. I know in my heart that God has called me to teach and coach....being patient and waiting for that right timing is key though. Me, being the person who wants it right here and right now, struggles with that. Yet, I keep hearing God tell me, "you will get your teams...you will have your time to play that role....just not yet."

Even still, there is great peace in being obedient to God, being patient, and putting the control back in His hands, even if you are a control freak, Type A, freaker-outer like I am. All of a sudden, you can breathe again. A huge weight is lifted off of you, and you can see the important things in life again. I need to focus my attention on my children, on God, and my husband. I need to learn how to not be so consumed by things before I take on other roles in life.


2 Corinthians 7:15 - And his affection for you is all the greater when he remembers that you were all obedient, receiving him with fear and trembling.

Bringing over some of my best blogs

I will be reposting some of the best blogs that I had originally created on Myspace onto this blogroll.